Don’t be Bitter, Be Better

This article – or rather the title thereof – is not setting the standard for this blog; it is not intended to be pithy or axiomatic nor do I intend to express my joy in rhetoric by bombarding you with labial alliteration. Rather, I just thought for my inaugural post I would share lessons learned from audition experiences in my (short) life. As a linguist and medievalist by academic discipline it can be daunting in essentially competitive situations to be faced with people who are currently studying or have recently completed degrees in drama and related theatre arts. Whether you are more intuitive or cerebral in your approach, training is a good support. In the spirit of perfect candour, I’ll tell you that more than once I have not progressed to the next stage, in University drama, ballet classes, and beyond. Happily, the feedback has never been such as to imply that I lack ability. Indeed, that ever clichéd and eternally reassuring phrase 'you definitely have something' has been bandied about and I cling to it as a panacea.

At times such as these I am aware that I did not perform to the best of my capabilities in the occasion presented; I acted superficially, I consciously remembered my preparation and put the appropriate emotional nuances across, I performed but I did not engage. Whether due to lack of practice or worry in these situations I have felt myself reverting to saying the words and hoping that that action would convey the sense. Whatever process works for you, a common point must be that action engenders feeling. Know what you are trying to do to the other person – questioning, convincing them of something, pleading – and carry out that action absolutely and from this the feeling with come and with it engagement. It brings you closer to that strange and wonderful point where actions and emotions are drawn from you without conscious thought and you begin to feel as if you are on the verge of flying.

Nonetheless, I can see where I am going wrong and I know what to work on to regain the level of capability I know I can demonstrate. This industry promises rejection and in a certain way, I am glad to have encountered it already , even at the most amateur of levels (a generic angel, not Mary, not even Gabriel and once – ONCE! - a daffodil, seriously ...) – it’s accelerating my skin-thickening process. Each time it occurs – and, let's be honest, it will occur again and again – I will not be bitter about what’s happened but approach it rationally and strive to be better next time.